A Girl In A Chair Workshop Review: Jasmine Star Is Some Girl In The Hot Seat With Your Wedding Day Magazine

Do you know who Jasmine Juarez is? Or maybe Jasmine de la Torre. Or could it even be Jasmine Tower?

Oh wait. You may be more familiar with Jasmine STAR. Sorry. We forgot. This is the alleged alias that's used most of the time. Or is it her real name? What is her real name? Why would someone use a fake name anyway? Especially if we are "keepin it real," as she often likes to say.

Let's put on on our explorer hats kids and put down your pitch forks. We're taking a field trip. Not going on a crusade. We just report the facts. You decide what you don't want to believe.

Most of the PZN staff likes Jasmine Juarez the same as we like every other human being on this planet...wait, we meant...Jasmine de la Torre...shit...Jasmine Star. Sorry. We're not used to calling people by a 'pretend' name unless they're a famous celebrity or movie star (oh, that word again! it's almost like...psychological marketing via a PR strategy of some sort).

Take for instance Alicia Cook, who's a very real person. She's this really talented musician who plays the piano and an even better singer. Say Photogzilla is her new PR rep. She asks him how can I market myself? Photogzilla, being the rockstar he is, tells her people need to remember you are a cool piano player and always sing in key. Hmm. He jumps out of his seat and exclaims, "I've got it...Alicia Keys!"

Now, let's hold hands for the next part cause it tends to get sooo complicated with some people...Let's hypothetically say a young woman walks in to a public relations office and asks how to market herself. PR rep asks her what talents or skills she has. She responds, "Well, I was at this photographer's workshop in my wedding dress for a shoot. I was promised I would get some free photos, so my husband and I went to play model. Plus, our wedding photos majorly sucked because this guy we flew out to Hawaii was such a flake. So we figured we'd get some new ones from like 14 different people."

The PR asks, "Yes, that's fine. But what can you do as far as skills or talent that I can help you with?"

She says,"Well, when I was there, I overheard the teacher guy Mike saying something about making $25,000 each wedding he shoots and my eyes just glazed over with dollar signs! I looked over to my husband and whispered, 'I need to quit school and do this!' And after that, I decided I want to be a wedding photographer."

PR rep thinks. "Okay, so how long have you been shooting?"

Her, "Shooting?? I don't hunt. That's cruelty to animals! I own a dog. And if you must know, we buy our meats from the grocery store."

PR, "I meant taking photographs."

Her, "Oh. Never. We just bought a 20D from the store yesterday and I blogged about it today."

PR, "Oh...(long pause)...I guess that's not a problem. I'm sure you picked up some stuff at this workshop you were modeling for."

Her, "Oh yes! I picked up all I need to know. During the workshop, I heard Mike tell someone he was shooting us in something called A.V. mode...which I think stands for Audio Visual mode. Anyway, once I heard that little tid bit, I realized I could shoot a real wedding now that I knew what mode to put the camera in. Look at this...my first time picking up a professional camera at the workshop..."

She pulls out a photo to show Mr. PR:

PR, "That's wonderful. I don't know anything about photography, but how do you know if this Audio Visual mode is the way to shoot the entire wedding?"

Her, "Oh, that's easy silly! I was in a wedding dress when he was shooting me, so I put the two together, and voila! Now, I want to be famous just like him and that's why I'm here. What can you do for me?"

PR, "Well, let's start with you telling me your full name."

Her, "Jasmine Juarez but I want to change it."

PR, "Why would you want to change it?? What's wrong with your name? You're going to be a wedding photographer...not a movie actor."

Her, "It sounds too ethnic, regular, unfamous, and it doesn't have a subliminal affect on other people. And I want to be really famous one day. Like a rockstar!"

PR, "Ok, so you want people to hear your name and think you're a rockstar? Fine. [sarcastically] Why don't you just change your name to Jasmine Star??"

Her, "Fo'real?? That's a great idea. You are awesome. I'm so stoked. I can't wait. That's going to appeal more to the white demographic of brides that get published in magazines across the country more so than any women of color. On top of that, this will align me up to be the envy of other photographers who will start to think I'm actually a star! [rubs both palms]"

Now how important is image to Jasmine? Very. She needs people to view her as successful, as that's the only real reason we can think she changed her name to Star. For instance, what does carrying around a Louis Vuitton bag do for your image? We obviously do it for our ego. We want people to think we're successful and can afford the finer things in life. We want other women to come to us and to compliment us with their envious eyes (Side note: contrary to popular dreams sold at workshops/seminars, wedding photography will not make you rich).

With that said, some people like to make sure their Louis Vuitton is shown off even though no one else is standing front and center trying to show it off, say, like a would be 'star.' While no one else keeps their purse in hand, we've got Jasmine making sure it's always by her side.

So much for keepin it real. I guess we'll write this off as 'consistent branding.' Sure. Why not? But what do we know...Even Photogzilla owns Louis Vuitton luggage. But this isn't about Louis. We're just trying to figure out why someone would feel it's so important to become a star. Last name and all.

This is not saying we think it's wrong to change your name. Do whatever makes you happy. However, this should give you an idea on the premeditated thoughts of grandeur that apparently is begging to come out in some people. Fame. Fortune. Envy. Things Jesus Would Do, eh?

Around the office here, we think we like Jasmine as a person and blogger. Comes off as a sweet girl with some spunk in her trunk. Yeah. About that trunk. We saw CreativeLive cameras focusing on her trunk too. Can't blame them. She made sure her assets were visible, professionally speaking of course. Hey, it's being broadcast for a thousand people to see online. And we believe in marketing sex in any form possible. Our chief does it all the time. Work what yo'mama gave ya. Plain and simple. Sell it girrrrl.

Especially with girl spunk empowering attitude and phrases which play a good distraction from the insecurities of lacking fundamental knowledge, but sound great with lots of "Ums..." as precursors to best guess answers like "I honestly don't know." Good thing you're being 'honest.' Imagine if you spoke like that as a lawyer in court. How convincing would you be to the jury? Well, good thing we're not talking about someone who went through law school for such a profession.

Gorge. Just gorge indeed.

Now, PZN has kept our readers informed about how the kooky nuts sell fluff and try to capitalize on the hard earned money of newbie photographers. In many cases, hard earned money a person or couple sacrifices because one wants to pursue the dream and allure of photography. If we covered every single workshop giving nut out there, we couldn't do what our chief loves to do...which is actually shoot. So we have to be somewhat selective and actually have a mathematical formula to determine who we call out. It involves a game of beer pong if you must know.

We thought Photogzilla had shaken up our beloved industry by making examples of some morons in our field. Opportunists that had managed to become successful marketers of their name (or false name in this case) more so than because of their work ironically enough. Our sexy chief always likes to say this about all the commotion some claim he ignited, "We didn't start the fire. It was always burning. As the world was turning." How original chief. Damn you're sexy, sir, with your original quotes.

Moving on. A couple of weeks ago, our unpaid Starbucks runner intern who likes to read Jasmine del Monte...we mean, Jasmine STAR's blog, saw a post about her teaching a new type of workshop. We were all ears after that. We went to the link and were stunned to see our chipmunk of a blogger involved in a workshop con with a twist. A few days later we had hordes of emails and direct messages about the same thing being sent to God's gift to women, our chief editor Photogzilla. So we had to investigate.

The newest con involves a magazine with a very small reader base trying to exploit the work of photographers without even paying for dinner before screwing them well and good. Instead of paying a photographer to do an editorial shoot, we seem to be living in the days of giving away free unlicensed work in exchange for the so called free publicity. Sign of the times and we rolled our eyes and said fine; that's a whole other discussion. But how bad can THIS be?

Well, the producers of this grand opportunity want to make sure they let you know they want you to call them "daddy." They apparently want naive photographers to pay them $30,000 to show how to assume the bitch position. The cherry on top will be our co conspirator blogger extraordinaire Jasmine Somethingoranother. This is after all billed as a "Photography Workshop." When our romance novel cover model chief Photogzilla saw their ad, his response was, "STOKE me in a closet and call me DJ!"

Let's break it down shall we?

First blatant act of buffoonizm: being a 'photography' workshop taught by Jasmine, we would think they would use HER photos to promote the workshop. Not a chance. The images being used is by a photographer named Norma Lopez Molina. Do we see a credit? Nope. How fucked up is that? Wait. We found it. It's way at the bottom. Where no one looks. And not even a link back. Double fucked up. Teach a workshop and use another person's hard work. We can only hope Norma licensed her images to be used in a commercial endeavor where the organizers are all profiting. We would think anyone claiming to teach all about "model release forms" and editorial know-how would know better than being this stupid. We can just hope Norma gets a nice cut. Perhaps, these workshop people actually don't know much else besides how to take advantage of an opportunity to fleece naive photographers.

{{{ EDUCATION LINK BREAK - Want to learn more about licensing your image so no one takes advantage of you? Start here if you don't want your hard work used for free: Licensing Guide }}}

The ironic part about this is that Norma's images have been used before by this tiny operation called Your Wedding Day magazine. See the original post for yourself here or below:

This immediately begs the question; why not ask Norma to teach what your advertising? Hmm. Her work appears to qualify her much more than Jasmine [insert any last name you like at this point]. Or perhaps its because Norma kept her real last name and didn't have enough PR sense to change it to something more marketable like STAR. Who knows? Whatever. So basically, Norma may have gotten screwed before the other 30 attendees. Nice.

It gets even funnier. Here we have YWD partnering up with Jasmine, but we couldn't find a single image of Jasmine's that YWD ever used online. Here's what we got when looked into their blog:

So nothing about 'Jasmine Star' on the blog...Hmm. Okay. Let's try the YWD website:

Oh, how ironic: "Total 1 results found." The "renowned photographer" partnering up with YWD to teach this workshop is nowhere to be found on the YWD website or blog. Not a single.online.publication?? Just one search result for this sad workshop; the advertisement post?? Unfortunately, someone forgot to extend the YWD social media arm to her; the very person teaching this conshop.

A few may know that Jasmine gives repeated lectures about online Social Media. The one where you're told blog twice a week, talk about your pet's life, have a Twitter account, open a Facebook page, and link back everyone/everything you mention (just like we did in the last sentence). And, yes, that's the entire Social Media lecture right there in one sentence. Oh wait. We forgot. One last thing. Make sure you fail at something you love and don't bother succeeding at something you hate, blah, blah, blah...If you're wondering, that's the butchered version of the quote from Cameron Diaz in the movie What Happens In Vegas where her character turns down a promotion. Jasmine says this phrase at probably every single speech and gives credit to JD for saying it (hubby and under the table unofficial employee of Showit sites no less). Note the link backs again...We're the mother of SOCIAL MEDIA. Worrrrd (and there's some more cool sounding spunky lingo for ya).

On a serious side note, you could learn MUCH more about Social Media than Jasmine's lectures that people pay good money to sit through only to see this very same site thrown up on her powerpoint presentation. She even showed her source at this small tiny little BIG ass failure you may have heard of called Escalate Live (<---Note who's the daddy of Social Media with the FIRST link you see right therrrr). Want to see Jasmine's source material? Here you go: LINKY.

Want more irony? Norma's name can be found on YWD's website/blog 12 times.

Our favorite part is Norma uses her real name. Seems you can use your real name and still get published on YWD's blog based on your work. Yes kids. You heard right. We used the word work. Also known as merit. Not manipulative marketing, like say, if your last name was Superstar, Amazing, etc.

Wait a minute. We thought this workshop was about getting published and so on. Something does not compute Captain! Let us get this straight. You're teaching a workshop on how to get published, you partner up with someone who's images you've used only ONCE, and then promote the entire thing with another photographer's images? This gets classier by the minute.

Dare we bother with the rest of scam? There's so much, we can't put it all in paragraphs, so we'll give you some bullet points. Bullets are also easier to read for the people we write about, cause they do have such fabulous lives and can't manage stay away from the real Rockstar, Photogzilla (Hi Becker, Dane, DJ, Jasmine, etc...etc).

• "you will be on set shooting high-fashion editorial-worthy models...amazing content to add to your portfolio" - So after we finish conning you, you can go con REAL would be brides that think that you know what you're doing and can expect the same type of shots, cause y'know, you set the shot up and all. And real brides on your website? No, no silly goose. These are all MODELS setup in a controlled environment with no time constraints, say like a real wedding, by the organizers of this sham. It's sooo ethical to use workshop images on your website. We're screwing you, so go on, screw clients expecting the same stuff. On a side note, we would like to know if Jasmine has EVER been hired to do an actual HIGH FASHION EDITORIAL shoot. You know. Where money actually exchanges hands and not necessarily ballz.

• "...working intimately with Jasmine Star on how to capture images that fit your brand." - Do you actually expect 30 people in attendance to get 'intimate' learning and analysis of their 'brand' within 3-4 hours of shooting? Highly unlikely. Ask any professional photographer who's been in business for longer than 3 years. With the amount of "ums" between question and answers going on, you can cut down an hour right there. Sounds like a naive person wrote up this entire workshop ad, and worse, naive organizers (with all due respect).

 

• This timeline is a really bad joke. Seriously. 10 - 12pm the speakers talk about themselves and throw out some inspiration speeches and speed through the topics they want to cover. This is constructive learning? Then 3 hours of shooting where we're going to become PRO photographers? We can only hope there's a chip implant during this time to gain the necessary knowledge/experience to show a return on investment. Speaking of investments.....

 

• If you were really naive and fell for the sense of urgency created for this so-called "exclusive" workshop, you signed up early and flushed down $795 of your kids college savings fund. In which case, we have a certain bridge for sale in a prime New York location we would like to offer for your consideration. "Only 30 spaces available." Who are you kidding? These marketing tactics quite frankly sicken us professionals who have been around long enough. It's really no different than falling for the Home Shopping Network or an As Seen On TV ad where the announcer pushes your buttons by telling you only 100 of these beautiful cubic zarconia necklaces are left...Get yours now! Meanwhile, 5,000 pieces of this Made In China costume jewelry sits in a large warehouse out in Idaho. 

• Did...someone...just...say....FILM? We almost fell out of our chairs. If it's not obvious already, who at this workshop is even qualified to talk about this medium? Is Jose Villa a surprise speaker? Dare we even bring up the 3 hours that will fly by of small talk and ego stroking between shots?

Let's get one thing very straight. No professional photographer who knows what they're doing will be going to this workshop. They know the cost benefit of having a few hours to rub up against someone who may mention them in their blog with a 'thanks for giving me a few thousand dollars to give you an inspirational talk' link back. No short term or long term return at all.

The people that are falling for this workshop and others like it are the newbie photographer that is naive enough to trust too easily. This person has no experience and is looking for guidance. It's only after working for 2-3 years will they see how little they learned by throwing their money away at obvious scams like this.

THE FREE PHOTOGZILLA IN A CHAIR WORKSHOP
The last thing we want to leave with you are the topics to be covered at this moneyshop. We're going to help you get started because we want you to save your $995. If you find it useful, just remember to buy a Photogzilla t-shirt when they come out. We promise it'll be cheaper than this conshop.

• 1. How to shoot and take successful photos in different lighting and atmosphere: Take a real photography course, read plenty of free books at your library, read free photography forums, practice shooting, and practice, practice, practice some more. THIS can never be learned at ANY one day workshop. 
• 2. Top ten things a photographer must always have at every job: Silly topic trying to convince you there are 10 secret things you don't know but they do. The answer to this is in topic #1. When you know how to shoot, have learned all about your equipment, and defined your unique style, YOU will know what 'top' things to bring to every job.
• 3. Deadly mistakes every photographer should avoid: Are we still trying to scare people into attending this workshop? Back up your CF cards right away in 3 different places. Bring back up equipment to every job. Have liability insurance.
  
• 4. Taking GREAT pictures, working on overall composition and shooting: See #1, where you will learn about the rule of thirds and composition, etc, etc.
• 5. What kind of images magazine editors looks for: Pick up any wedding magazine and study the images. Most want to see the details and decorations the brides spent thousands of dollars on. Keep them clean and simple. Minimize the artsy fartsy stuff. Think product shots. Like we said. Pick up a few copies of the latest wedding mags and flip thru them. When you've done topic #1, you'll begin to see how the photographer achieved the shot, while at the same time which pics the editors picked.
• 6. Find out how to submit your wedding the right way so it gets picked up: Ask! Simple as that. Every magazine and online website has contact information. Send them a friendly email asking how THEY prefer you submit work for features. No two magazines work the same. They have detailed requirements like image size and number of images they consider, etc. THIS sham of a workshop will tell you to submit images to Two Bright Lights (eyes rolling). Unless you're a sucker, avoid this. PZN isn't crazy about this latest fad and we're not convinced how this even benefits any photographer.
  
• 7. How to cast and work with models: Dare we remind you this workshop is being taught by Jasmine, who is a wedding photographer. If you want to learn about editorial work, THIS IS NOT THE WORKSHOP to learn about editorial shooting. This is a whole different beast of an industry and there are legit workshops that can teach you about this topic. As most of the attendees at this workshop will be wedding photogs, here is our answer to this topic: NEVER use models for your portfolio. Always use real brides from real weddings on your website. If you've never shot a wedding and don't have anything to show, go work for another established photographer as a second or third shooter. Build up your portfolio from real weddings. ANY workshop that promises you photo opportunity to build your portfolio is misguiding you into misguiding real clients.
• 8. Casting for the right project, model release forms and other forms you must have on set: Again, Jasmine is not an editorial photographer. See topic #7. Also, google is your friend. You'll find plenty of model release forms online. These are very straightforward. Don't be lazy. Do your homework. Plus, learn your local and state laws about copyright, releases, and contracts. This ties in as well.
• 9. Editorial styling direction - it's the details that matter: Like we said in topic #5. Also read up books on macro photography and still life. It'll do wonders for you. Practice shooting.
  
• 10. Photoshop: when is it too much or not enough: We scratched our heads here because Jasmine herself doesn't know Photoshop. She has repeatedly admitted this. In fact, she doesn't even edit her own photos. She sends them to a 3rd party to clean up her photos. Just to answer this topic though, see our answer in topic #5 again. Don't go crazy with those actions that looked cool the first 30 seconds. Editors like consistent clean images that are as close to natural as possible. Don't forget to pick up the magazine that you want to submit your photos to and look at the images they used. Once you've done topic #1, you'll know what was overly photoshop'd and what wasn't.
• 11. Being your own publicist: Simple. Change your last name to something that sounds ultra cool. Like Badass or something. Then go pimp yourself to magazine editors and vendors. Seriously though, if you need a publicist, go hire one. Photographers bitch about a bride using uncle bob instead of hiring them, why would you try to accomplish something a professional publicist would be able to do better? With that said, if you suck at design, hire a professional designer to work on your logo too. The list goes on.
• 12. Building your vendor/community relationships: Take vendors out to lunch on your dime and @mention them on Twitter as much as possible. Pimp each other. Build a friendly on going relationship. Send them free images from every wedding you shoot with them before they even ask you. Plug their link online with the wedding you both work on. Simple.
• 13. Social networking, media, branding, and importance of marketing yourself - the right way: Don't just follow the steps people give you. Understand how it really works. Besides the Wikipedia link Jasmine likes to use, we want you to remember there are plenty of other online resources discussing this topic to death...and for FREE. For example, try this. Again, for you newbs out there, this type of topic requires so much depth and understanding, there is NO WAY a 20 minute talk about this at Jasmine's workshop will help you attain the required understanding to implement this successfully if you have no idea what this is about. Do your homework.
• 14. Staying current with the bride and groom's editorial requests and social media demands: Editorial requests from brides/grooms? WTF? We think they're talking about a bride wanting a certain pose from a magazine image she found. Well, if that's the case, if you know topic #1, guess what? You can execute it cause you know your shit. Otherwise, they are enjoying their wedding day and hire you for your perspective and style. They won't have any editorial requests. Only social media demands they may have is using your pro photos on Facebook. You need to give them images with your logo on them and provide strict instructions none of the images can be cropped to remove your logo.
•  15. Any questions? There are plenty of free photography forums online with thousands of other photographers who are willing to help you grow as a photographer. They even provide constructive criticism of your work. If you take a real photography course at a school, your professor will help you as well. Leave your ego at home and go to your local photography get together and organize shoots with other photographers. Ask them any questions you have. Go work as an intern for a professional photographer and pay your dues in the battle field. All photographers like talking shop during their free time with other photographers. If you have specific questions for Photogzilla, leave it in the comment box below or email him at photogzilla@gmail.com. He'll be happy to give you a sexy answer if he isn't too drunk.

We all know Jasmine is reading Photogzilla In A Chair Workshop answers and taking notes for her presentation. Well, we're glad we could just help. "You're welcome, Jasmine...for going easy on you." :)

We also know that the organizers are going to read this PZN article and go back to the drawing boards to reevaluate their entire workshop. Excellent. We want that. We want anyone giving a workshop to realize they need to provide an experience to their attendees worth more than the entry fee. Don't provide answers that can be attained for free already. $1,000 is not chump change and you're not here to take advantage of others just because it's not illegal yet. That's an entry level Louis Vutton bag biyaatch!

If any of you experienced photographers reading this want to help your fellow man, feel free to leave additional answers to the above topics by using the appropriate number. Show your photographers some group love.

We'd like to leave you with this image to help you understand what's in a name, in case you're thinking of changing yours...Ladies & gentleman...Free to be the real you with your 'real' name...The magical veil of marketing...

To be a false star, or not to be, that is the question.

Did you or someone you know take a workshop taught by Jasmine Star? We want to hear from you. PZN asks you share your experience in the comment section below so others can make an informed decision.

Keep Stalking The Real Rockstar...Photogzilla!

Internet's Courageous Photogzilla Ballz: Doug Boutwell & Friends Want Some

PZN was mailed this blog draft copy that Doug Boutwell (pronounced butt'well we think) reportedly wrote, but never published. We couldn't figure out why after comparing what he actually posted on his blog, because we really agreed with this version below. We also have to warn you that both Doug Boutwell and his friends, like the Becker, use profane language like its their job. Please make sure your kids are illiterate so they can't read this:

"The other day I became so bothered enough about a trend in the photo community to sit down and write some thoughts about it. Plus, my Ridiculous Asinine Dipshit (RAD) Actions aren't selling so well since people are actually figuring out how to brighten & over saturate their own photos, and also that my west coast friends aren't plugging me enough. So I'm writing this blog post to get some much needed attention and buzz. I know that by even getting two sentences into this article, I’ve already let the terrorist-Photogzilla-Rockstar win, but like the old lady from the Burger King commercial said: “Where's the beef?”

Twitter, Facebook, and the blogosphere have their own special breed of ball cradlers and narcissistic morons, and I'm no exception. Personas that exist solely for the purpose of intimidating, ridiculing, and generally tearing down anybody who dares to question self proclaimed leaders who's only intention is to be in the spotlight. I privately fancy myself and my friends as some sort of innocent angels of charity, guiding the inured newb sheep away from the eye opening anonymous voices that expose the elite-wannabe opportunists. I see the Photogzillas of the world as Twitter terrorists that are out to destroy the stage my friends built with fancy business cards. I am just like the self-styled close friends of mine, defending them because we have business relationships where money is constantly changing hands and ridiculous plugging of my products (Remember: 'A' is for asinine) all over and spend our time taking pot-shots from behind online blogs, sparing no opportunity to cross-defending friends who are disillusional enough to call themselves industry leaders.

Sure, secretly, I admit that the pointed barbs of truth and cynical jabs are GTFOH (Editor Note: Get The Fuck Out Hilarious), and definitely on point. We all could use a bit of reality when we aren't shooting much, so we resort to selling fluff workshops, actions, books, and anything that a naive newb will buy. Anyone that knows me, like my close friend Becker, Jessica Claire, and anyone else I hang with in the OC, knows that I only rant and bitch about the world in acronyms because I'm too big of a pussy to spell out GTFO (Editor Note: Get The Fuck Out). But at a certain point, the truth begins to represent the kind of worldview that makes me and my friends, literally, a loser. If all you Photogzillas are pointing out the problems, and all our self-proclaimed heroes who include starting words in their Twitter profile as "Leader," "Speaker," and then maybe include "photographer," are your villains, it has a tendency to drag our platform of easy money making down.  Devoting an entire website or Twitter account to burning our shit down isn’t just depressing, it points how dysfunctional we are at our photography business. It's true; time we spend blocking and ignoring all of you instead of confronting the reasons behind the lashing, we're NOT spending doing something productive, like actually taking photos.

To be more succinct – toddlers cry and hit things when the world turns on them and exposes their stinky diapers they've been wearing around while selling moronic books and workshops, giving speeches of empty motivation and no real learning of the craft (trust me, I have OC friends).  Adults, like Photogzilla and all those 'phony' Twitter accounts, figure out how to expose the real phonies so we can fix it. They take time away from their real photography business, get up off their asses and work at making the world a better place. If all you do is bitch and moan, and call those that call you out "assholes,' you’re basically a FBAP (Editor Note: Fucking Bitch Ass Pussy), like my junk food addict pal, Chris Becker (Editor Note: aka 'The Becker,' The Pecker,' 'Principal of Dropouts A-Many B-School'). Check out his moronic rant where he basically calls anyone who follows Photogzilla an asshole:

 

Of course, no ANONYMOUS people spend 100% of their time calling out all of my circle of friends or others trying to profit from people's ignorance, or they wouldn’t have any real photography businesses to run. The fact is most of the friends I'm defending act as if they still are in high school. That delusion is an important social construct in their minds for them to function everyday. With being online, their true social worth is removed and they can bedazzle themselves into popular high school rockstars with some fancy blogs. Most of us are faking it, but some of our real side leaks out, and we get angry when people realize we're the ones who are actually peeing in the pool and biting off more than we can chew. We thought it was kinda cute at first, but like kids, we're still throwing fits and now owning up to how little we have to offer. After all this, it’s grating and exhausting I'm sure to listen to my friends and other phonies repeatedly just sound like motivational hot air. For me, endless stream of cynicism is long past due and I realize, well deserved.

Furthermore, the real way to build a better world is not to concentrate all your energy on tearing down the people that criticize and call out my friends and others who are only after fame.  If you’re angry at the Photogzillas, channel that anger into something positive and start by unblocking people like him. Ignoring others is equal to saying your opinion is not important. If you don’t like the way your position in the industry is questioned, take positive steps to make it better. Shine the spotlight on your criminal ways of conning people, instead of trying to hate on Photogzilla for calling your ass out.  Tell people how little you know about photography & the industry, instead of focusing on how they should buy your book or actions to help them fasttrack to pro levels of rockstardom. Champion people that challenge and question you, instead of ridiculing and ignoring what they say. That’s how true leaders act; they embrace their weaknesses along with their strengths; the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you don’t like people like Photogzilla, then don't be arrogant and ignore them. There’s no use ignoring the problem that people like my friends are perverting the industry.

Yes, dialog needs to happen. When industry leaders step out of line, anyone, anonymous or not, DOES have a responsibility to call them on it. When the emperor is naked, the Photogzillas of the world should absolutely tell them so. Someone needs to be checking the kool-aid before we all drink it, cuz we've been drinking and passing it on for far too long. But it’s a slippery slope for my narcissistic buddies because it’s too easy to turn into a negative asshole like how Becker, David Jay, and others who rant about being bullied and told we're 'naked.' Sure someone should give many of these self proclaimed leaders a time-out for taking it too far. If you've ever gone to a workshop or bought one our products, didn't get much out of it, then went out and actually learned the craft of photography and business, then realized how full of shit we were, then you probably know you what I'm talking about. And if we egomaniacs can’t be bothered to stand our cash flow disappear and be discovered like the Wizard of Oz, I can’t imagine why anyone ever gave us credibility in the first place.

So I’m officially calling out all my friends, David Jay, Dane Sanders, Becker, and other cynics on the interwebs, both in and out of the photo world. Stop behaving like children and trying to be the post popular kid in high school. If you are so passionate about photography, go and actually shoot and stop trying to make money off of naive newbs who don't know any better. Otherwise, STFU and GTFO.  And by the way, your motivational powerpoint slideshow could use a change. It's been like 5 years."

PZN Editor: Like we said, we like this version of Doug's post better than what he published. What do you think in comparison? See the original here.

Keep Stalking Photogzilla!

Escalate Live: The Secret Tape

Risking life and limb, PZN's own sexy chief Photogzilla went under cover this past Sunday to a secret meeting that was called the night before Escalate Live was to begin. After he managed to leave undetected, he was kidnapped by two assailants and driven all night to an unknown location.

After bribing his captives, he managed to escape and hitch a ride from a chicken farmer. His camera was lost amongst some hen cages, however, the farmer was kind enough to come back and returned it to Photogzilla.

Without further ado, PZN is proud to take you behind the closed doors of Escalate Live to show you everything the organizers don't want you to see:

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Escalate Live: The Secret Tape from Photogzilla from Photogzilla Rockstar on Vimeo.

Escalate Live: Streaming Live, Kinda Not

PZN is not responsible for the claims and constant plugs of books, workshops, and services throughtout the Escalate Live presentation.


Live TV : Ustream

PZN Intern Double Agent David Jay the Hypocrite, Escalate Live Still Lame

PZN is growing! (kinda) We want to unoffically extend an offer to David Jay to become the newest member of our staff (we're offering minimum wage). After years of being a sappy man on the verge of tears and secretly being a person who reportedly detests gay people (strangely), he has decided to take a turn in his approach to life. For this reason, he is now being considered by our staff to be an official PZN DOUBLE AGENT INTERN.

For a couple years, David tried his hand at wedding photography, but after reading a few Tony Robbins' books and regurgitating it for a couple of people, he realized he could fool more by simply quoting other authors verbatim to sound more intelligent & knowledgeable. A light bulb went off in his head and he put away his 20D away forever to pursue a career in being a full time cross-promoter and speaker. However, there were only so many sheepish followers & bored housewives he could fool. After a couple of adolescent years of doing this, he is now bored. Very bored.

Lately, for every waking hour, DJ has been secretly watching our commander in chief Photogzilla in action with envious eyes. DJ could not resist staying away. At first, he fought his desire to participate in the act of healing the industry, because he knows he himself is a part of the problem. He continued quoting authors, as usual, with inspirational messages. He was preaching for others to ignore critics, they don't matter, ignore legitimate questions, turn the other butt cheek, hide your head in the sand like your other friends, let us pray people throw their money at us for doing much of nothing, and reportedly don't-associate-with-anyone-who's-sexual-orientation-your-friends-don't-agree-with-because-gay-people-are-not-human-and-are-going-to-burn-in-hell-but-you-give-the-impression-you-kinda-are-curious-yourself-ehem, and more. We're sure you get the idea.

PZN knew David Jay was contradicting himself up to now and probably has been most of his life, but the latest came just a few days ago. First some much needed background.

As everyone knows and is probably sick of, are the endless quotes he Twitters to inspire others. These fall quite short of being remotely of any original thought, but whatever. Here are some Tweet examples from David Jay himself. (Hint: Let's play a game and find the patterns):

Did you see any patterns? If not, look closely. Note the times and the spacing between post times. Yes, there is exactly two hour spacing in between these tweets and occur in the middle of the night.

Notice where most of the tweets originate from though: "via SocialOomph." If you don't know what SocialOomph is, worry not citizens; PZN won't leave you in the dark. SocialOomph is a free online service that allows you to admin your Twitter account to control who can follow you, set it up to automatically follow anyone that follows you, and even schedule tweets...Hang on, hang on. What was the last one you ask? If the light bulb has gone off, it's for good reason.

Is it a horrendous crime to use SocialOomph? Not at all. Even our sexy Photogzilla uses it to send lame automatic DMs thanking folks for following him. Is it questionable to program hundreds of quotes like a robot and time their delivery to make it appear you're inspiring or truly interacting. Kinda yes and no, sir. We at PZN simply can't find any evidence to ANY original thought David Pees-Still-in-His-Jays has to share. But we digress (it's a habit, get used to it). It's the next set of particular premeditated SocialOomph Twitter updates that caught our attention that made PZN sit back and think, "DJ would make a great PZN intern to fetch our coffee and walk our dogs & bitches:"

After his normally programmed Tweets at 2:35 AM, 4:35 AM, and 6:35 AM, again spaced apart by 2 hours to not look like spam (which we think it qualifies for). This time he's made sure to preprogram a fun tweet to be announced at 7:52 AM. He calls out a photographer and accuses Asim Soofi as being our sexy chief Photogzilla. Mr. Jay of course is also too afraid to use Mr. Soofi's twitter name @asimsoofi, but he proceeds to mock this photographer for a private workshop he offers. This premeditated tweet also shows us Mr. Jay was planning an attack, which is again very out of character for him.

PZN did some digging and could not find the workshop page on Mr. Soofi's website. However, we did manage to Google like crazy and came across the form through an independent search. So we knew DJ had to do some serious work to find Mr. Soofi's workshop page. But we weren't concerned about his so called 'outing' of Mr. Soofi, as we have received numerous accusations of who Photogzilla Rockstar is and no one has been able to reveal his true identity yet. This list includes even Gary Fong.

The irony is the tweet quote at 6:35 AM from DJ right before his attempt at wrongly throwing Mr. Soofi under the bus: "Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path." PZN is amazed how these egomaniac kids do such a great job at learning lessons the hard way but don't follow their own advice. Great quote PJ. Please ponder it with your other friends.

All in all, this auto-tweet tells us a few things:

• David Jay never responds to Photogzilla, but now planned strategically to play dirty.
• After Photogzilla's criticism didn't sit well with DJ, his message to his followers was 'let's not stoop to their level' but this example demonstrates perfectly he's changed his tune.
• DJ displays true hypocrisy and knows how to mock people, contradicting his universal message of love & understanding.
• DJ isn't concerned about answering legitimate questions, but focused on eliminating anyone that threatens to criticize his perversion of the industry.
• Lastly, we thought it was Photogzilla's job to call out people about workshops but there's definitely enough room.

Of course, PZN isn't done just yet. Knowing DJ had planned this pre-medidated tweet, we came across another anonymous Twitter account that was being used to throw a random photographer under the bus. We believe this to be DJ himself or someone working in partnership with DJ (one of our staff members made a joke it's DJ's partner in life, the PC way of saying it). If it's DJ, we're truly impressed of him finally getting creative and having some balls, but if it's someone else, we know the other person is someone who wants to cradle DJ's ballz really badly or vice versa (more then likely, already has).

In this dynamically lame duo's desperate attempt to distract from the real issues that Photogzilla has been advocating to address, DJ/@youtwitface tried to blackmail & coerce our super sexy rockstar Photogzilla via DM:

So DJ and his 'friend' want Photogzilla to "back off" from "attacking" his friends. If we didn't know any better, this was the best display of cowardice we have ever seen. They're saying 'let's ignore the issues plaguing our industry and the legitimate questions regarding farces like Escalate Live.' Instead, let's shut those people up that ask the hard questions. Of course, this person has never hung out with Photogzilla but may have with this Mr. Soofi they are jointly accusing of being our rockstar Zilla. Our theory is that this anonymous person must have a personal vendetta against Mr. Soofi and attempted to drag his name through the mud. Here's Photogzilla:

"Hey! If you're accused of being me, be proud you son's of women! I'm a freakin' rockstar! Have some ballz and blush like flattered tweenieboppers! It's not easy being me."

Well, Mr. Soofi seemed to have a good sense of humor about all this finger pointing & dirty tactics by DJ & company. Initially when we had seen the link, the workshop was pretty standard stuff. However, one of our staffers DM'd us to tell us about a funny change that happened the day after DJ linked to Mr. Soofi. We went back to the workshop link DJ/@youtwitface shared with the world in a failed attempt to disgrace a bystander photographer.

Mr. Soofi's response to Mr. Jay's smear attempt:

It appeared DJ's attempt to mock someone else sorta failed as Mr. Soofi had personalized the form to be more fitting. DJ/YouTwit had apparently spit into the wind. We really loved the inclusion of Photogzilla-like stars as well, but the DJ endorsement had us laughing our asses off to be honest. Well played, sir, well played.

PZN's true concern comes from the fact that with only 2 days left until Escalate Live, David Jay has been wasting his time playing games online and not focusing on his presentation. With the self-produced theatrical of fooling 200-some photographers in person starting on Monday, the program guide still has the following:

May 14, 2010, Pathetically, David Jay's presentation details are still absent:

 

PZN feels that DJ & company needs to stop dicking around and get serious. It's bad enough 95% of the material is lackluster and will not truly help any professional photographer. The organizers fooled themselves and others with the following statement:

April 29th, first official announcement of a free seminar streaming:

Yes, they said "small location" and "difficulty of getting all the photographers in the world" into this seminar. Don't worry; we really appreciated the egotistical and condescending remark ourselves. Again, with 600 seats available and only 200-odd seats sold, it's not such a small location when 70% of the seats are still empty. Again, sad. 

While David Jay is out there more worried about the witch hunt McCarthyism campaign he is trying to run instead of focusing on FINALLY submitting a topic to talk about (Dane Sanders should think about putting DJ on a leash, or is having playing fetch as we speak, hmm), people are really confused about being conned to pay for a ticket when they could have just wasted time watching this sad production online. This commenter left a question on April 26th related to this moronic PR strategy, and still two weeks later, no one from the Escalate party wagon even cared enough to respond. They not only avoid PZN's legitimate questions, but also ignore people on their own website.

Question left on Escalate Live website by a concerned photographer on April 26th, ignored even up to this day:

Maybe ticket goers will get a surprise at the seminar when David Jay simply talks about how wonderful Showit sites are and runs a slide show of his top 10 favorite examples. That's the only thing we can think of. If he does give some inspiring speech, please be sure to compare any presentations Tony Robbins gave in the last couple of years. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

In the end, the PZN was impressed wth David Jay's display of having the ability try to be a funny man and super rockstar hero just like Photogzilla. We believe with a little house training, David Jay could finally be a positive contributor to Photogzilla's movement for change in our industry. PZN would love to hear your opinion. Should we hire DJ as our next intern?

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Photogzilla #7 Most Popular in World, Escalate Live Sells 8 Tickets

Who knew Photogzilla was so popular? He's so famous, it hurts. Now that he's ranked so high, you have to acknowledge his awesome sex appeal and rockstar popularity. The numbers don't lie. Of course not. (flame on!)

Don't believe everything someone tells you. PZN doesn't buy the above numbers either because its not based on the whole truth because you're only shown a part of the story. If you're not privy to internet statistics and such, it's no different then being a newbie to the photography industry. The whole truth is that the above numbers are actually reflective of the blogspot.com main site. Not necessarily Photogzilla's blog per say, which is a sub-domain. The numbers are skewed, just like self-proclaimed leaders who try to skew reality and their own image to gain your trust, only to profit themselves. If you believe anyone who blogs how amazing your life will be by buying their workshop on a DVD, how your life will be 'transformed' after you give them your mortgage payment for attending their workshop, uses Twitter to do nothing but spam-promote and not truly interact, constantly tells you are worthy of being fabulous, or any other cheap marketing techniques,.....THEN, feel free to believe the above numbers as true: Photogzilla is the #7 most visited site in the world.

Now some people want to believe that Escalate Live was supposed to offer free online streaming from the beginning. Well, PZN always likes to let you know; the spin stops here. We have yet to see any proof of this, except evidence to the contrary.

April 21st Tweet by Chris Becker:

We have a lot of hearsay from witnesses saying they heard Dane Sanders or someone else or someone's mom saying that the stream would be for free. If that is the case, how does it make any sense to sell $250 tickets? That's like releasing a movie into the theaters, but then telling everyone they can see the movie for free from the comfort of their homes. Certainly doesn't make business sense, but more importantly, it doesn't make common sense for the average person who may have booked travel thinking it's only an in-person event. Ask the person who's booked their airline ticket to attend this seminar and they will have some choice words to share with you at this point.

The most humorous part is that most of the documented 'free' online streaming announcements began after PZN revealed the unethical tactics by the Escalate Live organizers. This was just part of the PR spin. Here's Photogzilla:

"If you wanted to allow a free show online from the beginning, why not put the option to sign up from the very beginning as soon as you started selling tickets. Why HIDE it?? It doesn't do much good if its in your head as the organizer, told to 3-4 people in person...Put it where ACTUAL attendees can see COMPLETE information. That tells me these greedy folks wanted to milk whatever they could from naive ticket buyers. It's only recently they officially posted an option for the online streaming AND it was only a week ago did they FINALLY put a program description on the site.

April 23rd Tweet by Dane Sanders of program details, finally weeks after tickets went on sale:

It gets even more retarded; the program description is STILL incomplete even NOW. The blind continue leading the blind. And the blind keep falling for these unethical tactics. Just look here....As of TODAY, May 5, 2010, David Jay STILL has no clue what he's going to be talking about...'Topic Coming Soon??' You call this an organized event?"

With so many people trying to get rid of their tickets now, the number of tickets sold from last time PZN reported the total of 220 tickets sold to over 15 days later now is..........228 222 tickets sold. This tells us only 8 additional people have bought a ticket to attend in person. PZN believes these people probably missed the free streaming option or they really believe that they will be cooler people by meeting these speakers in person. Of course, the return in investment will still be nil and will be realized after attendees walk out. They will be inspired to take on the world, but a week later they will simply be ordering plugged products like a Showit site, a Shootsac bag, buying Dane's book. Ironically enough, their photography skills will still, for lack of a better word, suck.

Does anyone else realize these speakers don't even make majority of their income from...wedding photography?

The fact is, there is no truth in advertising with Escalate Live and its organizers, along with similar seminar workshops promoting themselves through spams on forums, Twitter, and other social networks. They have demonstrated irresponsibility in not only marketing the event unethically & incompletely, hiding important purchase options from attendees visiting the Escalate site, but also how desperate their attempts are to create a perceived value of something that simply will mostly benefit the ones collecting money from ticket sales & DVD sales.

People will have to choose if they want to be a sheep and follow this train wreck.

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Escalate LIVE Gravy Train Diverted, Speakers May Seek Real Work

New development: PZN has been keeping a close eye on ticket sales, and with only 26 days left to sell tickets priced at $256.22, the organizers of Escalate Live have sold ONLY 220 tickets. This is a far reach from the 600 seats of cash flow Dane Sanders & company were looking forward to pocket. With numerous attendees jumping off after realizing this train was taking them and their wallets for a ride, they are looking to sell their prematurely purchased tickets to someone who doesn't mind lining the pockets of people that rely on taking advantage of those too naive or blinded by savvy marketing. Many more have lost interest in the event and more so, have lost respect for the speakers of this event.

PZN may have already taken out all the hot air that part time photographers Dane Sanders, Chris Becker, Jasmine Star, David Jay, and the rest of the company were planning on using to float across beautiful California blue skies with wads of cash in their pockets. Dreams of starting a seminar that would could someday become a lucrative cash flow for the speakers who could use a controlled platform to promote their own products, services, and workshops to an unsuspecting audience, assuring an annual pay day for giving inspiration speeches without much substance. A private little WPPI if you will. Only this time, a handful of part-time wedding photographers/full-time motivational speakers & bloggers would be collecting bags of booty as they made their way to the banks.

PZN asked Photogzilla for a comment on the pathetic ticket sales for an event with less then 26 days away.

"This is a clear sign that professional photographers everywhere are far more intelligent then these speakers give them credit for. Hard working people don't want to waste their money on fluff, and they're sending these 'self-proclaimed leaders' a clear message that they cannot be taken advantage of anymore. This gravy train on biscuit wheels, thinly disguised as some kind of educational seminar, is now coming to a slow grind before it has even left the station. My objective from the beginning was to educate the masses about these unethical and veiled techniques these people are using to make money. This is a big step in helping our industry realize it needs to realign back to the thinking that hard work and dedication based on a solid foundation is what is required to be successful as a photographer."

PZN will continue to keep a close eye on any new updates and whether the organizers will cancel the event. We do know for a fact that the speakers have had numerous discussions on how Photogzilla has thrown off their entire plans and have been redoing their speeches and presentations in an attempt to salvage their reputation. However, what is worse is that none of the speakers have responded to Photogzilla's numerous attempts to get even a comment. No one from Escalate Live seems to really care what people have to say and simply block anyone from following them on their Twitter page that they don't agree with. We feel that if you are a person has who has chosen to lead a public figure life, you cannot ignore the public that questions you and be selective to keep as an audience only those that you are able to fool. Photogzilla commented, "Not only did most of the speakers block me on Twitter, even @EscalateLive blocked me for asking some tough questions. David Jay even called two people 'clueless' for asking why doesn't he respond to questions. These people have some really huge egos and history teaches us this is the downfall of many."

PZN knows all of the speakers have been keeping a close eye on Photogzilla, because the organizers have even changed the iStock micro stock images they were using on a...wait for it....photographer's conference! One of them went out and took a few snaps to change around things on the Escalate Live website. PZN broke this news to our readers in an earlier report how EscalateLive had used a selective coloring image. What's really sad is that the images being used now are actually far worse in quality then the iStock photos. Photogzilla fell out of his chair when he saw the new images, "And these are professional photographers?? Can't even take high quality images themselves? What is wrong with these people?!? The humanity! If you DON'T know how to take professional quality images, what are you doing teaching a conference about photography? I guess, when your best is just not good enough as a wedding photographer, you become a motivational speaker for other wedding photographers. This is such a train wreck."

Now, the PR minds at Escalate LIVE have decided to offer a live stream for free. The speakers are trying utilize any method they can to salvage their reputation, so they'll do anything to save their public image. Here is Photogzilla again.

"This is another clear sign that Dane and company are desperate to save themselves. They are going to try to play this giveaway free seminar to gain points from sympathizers. It's just so sad. What's even more moronic is what they will have to do with the 220 people that HAVE bought a ticket already to attend what is now a FREE seminar. Who's the moron running this train wreck?? Oh yeah. The speakers. I think they need to focus on their wedding photography business. They apparently aren't making enough money on that, so their wasting everyone's time and money on this recycled and regurgitated garbage. I can tell you right now, they have changed their entire presentation to NOT plug their products and are going to try to look like angels by trying to give away a free presentation. They should just cancel the event and go home. Cut your losses. Focus on becoming better photographers or seek another line of work. Don't try to be the next Tony Robbins, who I might add is who Dane & company have been ripping off and plagiarizing. Oh, and did you know that line Jasmine always says 'I'd rather fail at something I love then succeed at something I hated' that you hear at every seminar she speaks at...She says her husband JD said it to her. Turns out, it's also ripped straight from the Cameron Diaz movie "What Happens In Vegas," where Cameron's character turns down her promotion in the board room scene. Go check it out for yourself. Unoriginal. Fluff. Empty motivations. Just full pockets with money from deceived photographers who trusted these people. Very sad."

If you would like for the speakers to respond, ask them on Twitter by pasting the following: @DaneSanders @_DavidJay @JasmineStar @JessicaClaire @theBecker Why are u ignoring legit questions from @Photogzilla - http://bit.ly/aATAN7

We also invite our PZN readers & Photogzilla followers from Twitter to take our poll to see what should happen next.