WPPI 2012 Cheat Guide & Reviews - Who To See, How Much To Drink, Who To Avoid in 2012

As thousands of broke photographers descend into a drunken stupor over the following week, we should keep in mind there are a few who are actually in Las Vegas to learn a thing or two at the WPPI 2012 convention. Baby Jezuz knows. We at PZN and our chief sexy aren't one them.

So the information we're about to share is to help those that are kinda serious about getting their learn on. And also for those who want some scientific quantitative computational hard data for the bricks we drop on some of the speaker idiots that make it through the cracks. Thru the cracks of ass kissing, that is.

Last year we took a survey of the WPPI 2011 speaker performances to give a report card for attendees to use as an honest cheat guide to see who's worth our time while in Vegas. Cuz no one else will. And mainly because the organizers at WPPI give off the impression that they don't really give a shit about feedback. Just look at the some of the morons they allow to speak. As long as rent is paid. A profit is turned. And they can afford to do it next year. A large population of WPPI attendees will be newbs. In fact, every year WPPI bets on it. They want to draw the unquestioning type of herd. A herd they can control and excite. The cash cow, if you will.

Are we hard on WPPI? We have to be. We are paying consumers just like our own clients. If you are providing a service of education, make sure your educators are worth the price of admission and not just a profit margin of inspirational fillers.

Regardless of which attendee category you fall into, without further ado, the following are the results of some of the speakers from last year's attendees surveyed. Some speakers just didn't get any feedback at all. That blows, but maybe for the next survey. Until then, take a look at the report cards below. The people have spoken.

Our sexy Photogzilla calls this the...

WPPI 2012 CHEAT GUIDE USING THE WPPI 2011 SPEAKERS SURVEY RESULTS

TO HELP SPEND YOUR TIME WISELY AT WPPI 2012

AND TO EDUMACATE SPEAKERS

WITH SOME VALUABLE FEEDBACK

DATA

*speakers are listed in ABC's by first name

*notable pros and cons follow each report card

______________________________________

PROS:

"Well organized presentation"

CONS:

(none submitted)

________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Very willing to help"

"Friendly"

CONS:
"Plugging other and her own products constantly"

"Nonstop infomercial like product plugs"

_________________________________________________________

PROS:
"I will say he's confident."

CONS:

"Full of himself"

"Shamelessly promoting himself and his B school"
"I could sum up his entire speech in about three sentences. 1. Befriend other photographers - it is a good thing 2. Network/promote your business to the friends/family of existing clients. 3. Hmmm..I think two was it, LOL! The two pieces of advice are good advice, but I have heard him say those things before on his blog at least 5+ times (probably more but I stopped reading his blog awhile back)."

__________________________________________________

PROS:

"Educated in her field and has a great business plan..."

"Beth really understands her market, how to market, and how to photograph seniors. She has solid work, and a good understanding of how to create the upsell. Her presentation gave me a lot of ideas on how to improve my package offerings to increase sales."

CONS:

"...that will really only work FOR HER. It was too specific and too tailored to her town that there was no logical way any metropolitan photographer would be able to emulate it."

"Would have liked a better explanation of how she created her packages and determined her pricing structure."

_______________________________________________________

PROS:

"Bobbi was very enthusiastic about the subject material"

"super funny"

"the were sincere, endearing"

CONS:

"WAY TOO EFFING enthusiastic about the subject material. Jumping around and screeching like a monkey in heat, is probably the best analogy i can make"

"This was their first time speaking...seemed as if they were nervous... Things went from bad to worse. Yet had index cards.. And would take turns speaking... Maybe in an effort to be organized but it came across as very robotic. They are AMAZING photographers... But Not so amazing in the speaking department. They are also genuinely great people.. From what I can tell... Not interested in becoming rockstars.. Just interested in photography..."

OTHER COMMENTS:

"I sincerely hope people do not use their platform class to reflect on their photography. They are two totally different things"

"their presentation was such a mess it was hard to follow...shame because I adore their work."

_______________________________________________________

PROS:

"Helpful, confident, entertaining, highly honest, motivating and moving"

"Cliff has real world experience and is a true pro. He even made several references to the crap speakers at wppi. He did plug his workshops, but announced it as a plug, gave the plug and then ended it quickly with an apology."

"Extensive variety in presentation of images built credibility. Instead of just showcasing 5 great images from the same event. Great use of light in images to demonstrate shooting technique. Didn't plug products--I didn't leave thinking I need to own that thing to be a better photographer. His work did leave me inspired to improve what I see."

"Very little plugging of products...gave away two bags and that was about it. Emphasized image quality and understanding of the technical aspects first and foremost. Great sense of humor."

CONS:

"Told is straight, so entry-level people who don't know their gear might be offended. Which is good. If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it."

OTHER COMMENTS:

"I couldn't believe he didn't pack the room. Unreal. All the other photographers were at the women in photography thing happening. Probably the biggest mistake they made at the entire conference."

"He had some of the audience in tears at the end while he showed and explained his favorite recent images."

________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Damon has a direct, humorous presentation style. He weaves joke and humor into his content"

CONS:

"Not an appropriate session for an established professional, but just fine for someone who needs to learn how to light"

__________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Practical knowledge and proof of that knowledge given. Easy to listen to, high energy and genuinely nice people"

_______________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Very Inspirational!"

"Very interesting to hear from a photographer who shoots only (primarily) in film"

"The difference between inspiration and imitation was stressed, along with the need to collaborate effectively with your subject."

"Most qualified in terms of experience and image quality"

CONS:

"Lots of slideshows. We can see her work on her website."

"290,384,320,989,038,410,948 slideshows of her work, very little actual speaking about it, and for someone who shoots primarily with film. I want to hear about that"

"Used too many slideshows."

"She doesn't give ANY real/helpful/practical information unless asked. It's nice to be inspired but we're there to LEARN"

"IT WAS WAY WAY TOO HEAVY on self promotion. If I wanted to see her website I would've stayed in my room. I love her work and heard good things about her platforms from years past. This was NOT a good experience"

____________________________________________________

PROS:

"hey gave VERY GOOD business advice on how to run a real business, how to track your budget, what you need to know to survive, hiring staff, sales, packages...a few photoshop tips! GOOD STUFF!!"

CONS:

"long slideshow of their images. GAAAA!!!! 3 minutes would have been more than enough to show the kind of work they do...ended class with more photos that went on forever"

_________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Very passionate without being ridiculous. Clearly stated where she made mistakes & how she improved"

"She clearly has a family/children niche and an ability to market and sell with specific products. LOVE that she greeted everyone at the door"

CONS:

"Maybe a little too oriented towards the 'Mom With A Camera' type"

"she was way too emotional, was crying about a story that we didn't even know yet. Seemed like the only trick up her sleeve was Millers cards"

"I left. Along with many others"

__________________________________________________________

PROS:

"well organized and confident"

"There were some good quotes he mentioned from other photographers."

CONS:

"Very smug."

"I felt like he was condescending to this audience."

OTHER COMMENTS:

"said some things that were just absurd, like, 'photographers aren't artists. They are above artists. Whenever someone calls me an artist, I get offended because I'm better than that'...A lot of his presentation came from other photographers, like John Szarkowski. (In fact, I can't recall what part of his presentation was an original thought of his own). Really? You're just going to read someone else's book for your whole lecture? Couldn't you just email us the PDF and we could read it at our leisure? If there was one overall theme of his presentation it was that he was better than everyone because he had a masters degree. At one point he recommended taking 6 months off without picking up the camera to take any pictures at all. He suggested this because that's what he did at one point in his life and the day he picked up his camera after those 6 months, he was magically a better photographer than he had been before. Wait, did I hear him say these things to a group of hobby photographers in Witchita? No. This was at WPPI where working professionals go to find out how to make genuine improvements to their technique and business. this sounds very harsh. Now I am starting to feel bad about writing this."

_____________________________________________________

PROS:

"great speaker on blogging"

CONS:

"should be teaching at a blogging convention on how to create an sensationalized online persona instead of at a photography convention."

"really not impressed with the values placed on materialism, fake ghetto fabulous persona, and fake sweetness. a bit over the top"

"Seems unsure about what she knows...repeatedly corrects herself before she even has said anything...in case she's wrong...over and over...talks like she doesn't want to be liable for her advice"

"comes off unoriginal...sounded like she memorized a church sermon or self help book"

"very disappointing...sounds sweet but comes off clueless more than as a confident pro"

______________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Best speaker EVER at any WPPI I have attended"

"She 'F-ing Rocked It'...No Rockstar bullshit to contend with. Inspired me on many different levels"

OTHER COMMENTS:

"She made me cry like a baby"

_________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Weird and inspiring all at the same time"

"Did not learn anything technical but I was inspired to make shoots with my clients more of an experience they will enjoy and never forget."

CONS:

"Weird!"

"first hour was extremely boring, but after about 90 minutes he got into the meat of the topic"

OTHER COMMENTS:

"I left when he started to sell his product at the end. Beloved is basically a fancy way of saying 'anytime shoot.' Not sure what the value is in buying his product."

______________________________________________________

PROS:

"Genuine excitement for photography and his clients. Obviously in it for more than the money, and seems to really enjoy the process."

CONS:

"Too many slideshows"

"Too many photos put me to sleep"

___________________________________________________________

COMMENTS:

"John is the Photogzilla of WPPI speakers."

___________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Didn't just show us his work, say which famous person was in it, and show us the next photo. Took time to tell us why each photo looked that way. And how he achieved the look. The first class I didn't want to take a nap through, even after being awake for 26 hours"

"Excellent giveaways: (FIND workshops, film, RPL)"

"Jon honestly knows the business. He knows the difference between an f stop and a bus stop. Many people in the business don't have a technical clue. This guy really knows what he's talking about. He is also extremely humble."

"Honest, open and to the point. No BS."

"answers all questions, and is an open book"

CONS:

"I wish there was more time in the class to continue on listening!"

"A few too many give aways. It's cool, because I got a pro pack of portra 220, but I don't like all the interruptions from the body of the discussion."

"Too short. I wish Jon had more time to keep talking."

_____________________________________________________

PROS:

"Actual advice from actual experience."

"stuff that could actually be applied"

"This kid is going places."

CONS:

(none submitted)

___________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Fun, cheerful, and had a lot of great new ideas."

CONS:

(none submitted)

OTHER COMMENTS:

"A lot of great tips in a short period of time."

__________________________________________________________

PROS:

"Loved her ideas and marketing tools and promos. Lots of information. Very honest"

CONS:

Some of her tools were not relevant to me but I am sure others found them useful"

__________________________________________________

PROS:

"Kevin Jairaj and JVS have two very different lighting styles and they both use different equipment so the presentation was full of different techniques to use in different situations. It was great to feel like I got more than my money's worth. Sort of a two for one. Two different lighting gurus for one low price :) JVS also showed us how to use two different lighting set-ups in the class"

" talked in very specific language about exposure settings. Beginning photographers would be in over their heads with the technical knowledge presented. Photographers not used to using Radio Poppers or Wizards to control strobes would get lost but those of us that know were mesmerized"

___________________________________________________________

PROS:

"She was energetic and enthusiastic"

"Excited to speak"

CONS:

"Spent most of her time giving away stupid prizes and talking about promotions and then giving away the templates she had used. She spent very little time giving real information or useful suggestions on how to be profitable. It was annoying and I left after one hour."

______________________________________________________

PROS:

"My favorite platform class of WPPI"

"Louis was genuine...great teacher, sharing valuable knowledge and information with...attendees"

"Very easy to understand and inspired me through his words and passion for photography.

"spoke from his heart, truly wanting to help the people sitting under him become better photographers. Two years in a row I have walked away from his presentations with laughs shared, tears shed, inspired, informed and changed"

CONS:

"No cons!"

"would take his workshop in a heartbeat if more affordable"

_______________________________________________________

PROS:

"Personality was a bit odd...but delivers the goods in the end, very informative and enlightening"

___________________________________________________________

OTHER COMMENTS:

"We left early due to the "Pretentious Attitude" of speaker. The $100K watch comment & who needed one followed by "I own one" had my wife darting for an exit"

__________________________________________________________

PROS:

"knew what he was talking about"

"was actually useful"

CONS:

"don't like his hair"

________________________________________________________

PROS:

"very meat and potatoes...lots of great tips and real-life advice"

"Not a single plug during his presentation. At the end he mention his website and that he will be doing workshops in the future and that was it. He was the only speaker who didn't whore a product. He didn't BS either, he said hard work and 'perfect' practice will get you success. I love how he dissected images to evaluate them and decide if the image is good or just mediocre. He had a chart that he uses in his evaluation for when he takes a photo and he also uses it when he judges the print competition"

"by far the most informative speaker at WPPI"

____________________________________________________________

PROS:

"confident"

CONS:

"Couldn't stay on track. Took WAY too many questions during the presentation and got derailed"

OTHER COMMENTS:

"This was absolutely the most valuable session I attended at WPPI 2011"

_________________________________________________________

PROS:

"She seemed down to earth, wasted NO time with a 'history of my career' speech and provided tons of useful info"

"Loved that she got to the point and made it practical!!"

"to the point, incredible speaker...shared relevant how to advice"

CONS:

"Would have loved some info on post production - but with time given, probably wouldn't have been possible"

"I wish it was longer"

OTHER COMMENTS:

"Possibly my favorite speaker at WPPI this year - and one of the most helpful to my growth!"

"she was by far the best speaker at WPPI...she was organized and well spoken...her images are inspiring and I love that she is all about the images and not about being a rockstar"

__________________________________________________________

As you can see, there are a pool of very good speakers at WPPI that are worth the price of admission. And there's also piss in the pool. So avoid those piss-poor speakers.

Hope you enjoyed this little cheat sheet. Have fun at WPPI. Party hard. Drink up. Cheers.

If you have your official Photogzilla T-Shirt...Wear it. And keep your eyes peeled.
Photogzilla will be wearing his at WPPI 2012.
So if you see someone passed out in the MGM lobby...it's probably him...if you're a hot girl, give him mouth to mouth. All others...get him a bottle of water.

Keep Stalking Photogzilla

Survey was available for the following speakers and compiled painstakingly with the data provided by participants. Not all speakers were responded to. Maybe for the 2012 survey...if there is one. This was a pain in the ass to compile. So appreciate it. And buy Photogzilla a drink when you see his sexy ass:

WPPI 2011 Speakers:

Bobbi & Mike, Lindsay Adler, Suzette Allen, Kevin Ames, Jared Bauman, Becker, Jules Bianchi & Joy Bianchi Brown, Clay Blackmore, Gary & Pamela Box, Sue Bryce, Joe Buissink, Jonathan Canlas, Bambi Cantrell, David & Quin Cheung, Sal Cincotta, Bob & Dawn Davis, Jack Davis, Jesh DeRox, Jerry Deck & Sondra Ayers, JP Elario, Nancy Emmerich & Rose Coleman, Kay Eskridge, Rick Ferro, Deanne Fitzmaurice, Beth Forester, Mike Fulton & Cody Clinton, Jim Garner, Jerry Ghionis, Greg Gibson, Michael Gilbert, Doug Gordon, Mitch Graf, Michael Grecco, Michael Greenberg, Jason Groupp, Craig Heidermann, Gene Ho, Bruce & Josh Hudson, Jennifer Hudson, Vincent Isola, Kevin Jairaj & JVS, Andrew Jenkins & Jackie Palmer, Kenny Kim, Julieanne Kost, Kevin Kubota, Jill LaFleur, Tamara Lackey, Mike Larson, Lisa Lefkowitz, Rodney Lough Jr., Justin & Mary Marantz, Cliff Mautner, David McLain, Elizabeth Messina, John Mireles, Dave Montizambert, Patrick & Amina Moreau, Lori Nordstrom, Bryan O'Neil Hughes, Louis Pang, Jessie Pavlics, Sarah Petty, Blair & Suzanne Phillips, Jared Platt, Me Ra Koh, Jamie Schultz, Dawn Shields, Ken Sklute, Brian Smith, Jasmine Star, Susan Stripling, Jeffrey T. Medford & Ross Hockrow, Eddie Tapp, Vicki Taufer, Damon Tucci, Roberto Valenzuela, Anthony Vazquez, Jose Villa, Kirk Voclain, Alan Weiner, Ron Wyatt

Scott Bourne Says Screw Other Photographers

Sad is the word that comes to mind. Mr. Scott Bourne continues to deny his wrongdoing and still has not clarified his position with the facts regarding why he is advertising to be an instructor in a workshop for nude photography. He is not qualified for this position yet stands to profit from a $1500 per person workshop. It is also disappointing that Ms. Bambi Cantrell continues to support this irresponsible and unethical misleading of photographers whom expect to be taught by instructors that should have a long history of dealing with the subject matter. Mr. Bourne doesn't.

Mr. Bourne is a wildlife and landscape photographer. As it was reported in previous posts, he has only been commissioned for three nude sessions for paying clients. Don't be scared: Mr. Bourne was NOT the person nude, as far as we know.

It is ironic he's now going on other blog sites and trying to leave anonymous comments, but using the same language and verbage pattern to discredit anyone who does not agree with him. Though he is in the wrong, it is humourous he is now actually the one who is depicting a true troll. It would have been easier if he simply clarified himself and removed himself from the workshop in question.

He is accusing Mr. Photogzilla Rockstar of being a "troll," along with many others, who have voiced strong opinions on the photography industry. Mr. Rockstar has been vocal from the beginning of his 'arrival' for the need to change the industry for the better and reevaluating of certain persons manipulating professionals for their own personal agenda and greed.

Several days ago, Mr. Photogzilla Rockstar had sent a message to Mr. Jim Collins, the CEO of Pictage, requesting if he would mind sharing information about who his company sponsers in the interest of full disclosure. Mr. Collins was very kind with his time and responded by sending PZN an email with all of the information and his process of choosing sponsorship.

A few days later, Mr. Collins posted the same information to share with the general public in a blog post so more photographers could be made aware of Pictage's activites in light of the recent rumblings that have been going since Mr. Rockstar began his 'honesty rampage.'

In a response to Mr. Collins post, the efforts of which we at PZN appreciate, Mr. Bourne arrived to discredit the complaints put forth against by Mr. Rockstar. He feels strongly that no complaint is worth worrying about and everyone should just go on about their business. He also accuses Mr. Rockstar of living in his mom's basement. Upon reading this, Mr. Rockstar's mother was quite upset and asked Mr. Rockstar how could have Mr. Bourne known unless he was snooping around in her yard, essentially trespassing. PZN is not too sure whether Mr. Bourne actually did snoop around Mrs. Rockstar's lawn, thereby breaking the law. PZN is investigating, but please enjoy Mr. Bourne's comment for now:


Mr. Bourne posted the above comment anonymously, however, the buffoon of a mistake he made was he used his first name. We too scratched our heads as you are probably doing that and thinking, "WTF?" Mr. Bourne has basically said, 'Screw other photographers and their opinions don't matter.'

However, we had a nice person also follow up with a comment directed towards Mr. Bourne in response to his true 'trollish' style of a comment as you will see below.

Well said Mr. Lin. Mr. Bourne, you are a very very bad man for name-calling indeed. We should call you Mr. Meanie, per Photogzilla's mother Mrs. Rockstar.

Is this the kind of professional that our industry needs?

Is this the type of photographer other photographer's should look up to?

Is this the type of instructor workshop attendees need teaching when he just took a nude photography workshop himself only in November 2009?

Is this the type of photographer a respectable company like WHCC (White House Custom Color) should be sponsoring and associating their brand with?

Isn't Mr. Scott Bourne the real troll?

Sad Mr. Bourne. Just sad.

Keep stalking Photogzilla Rockstar!

Wildlife Photographer Reads PR Is For Dummies

Backpedaling is something we at PZN have been seeing ever since Photogzilla Rockstar came on the scene and began exposing silly photographers trying to take advantage of the industry. Of course, they can try to blind others and dilly dally trying to put on their PR hats, but Photogzilla is keeping his monster eye out.

A few hours ago, PZN reported that wildlife photographer Scott Bourne was advertising a workshop to pocket $1500 from each attendee. This workshop was advertised as himself and Bambi Cantrell being the instructors for the course.

Here is the original advertisement (link):

Just a short while ago, as Photogzilla expected, Mr. Bourne felt the need to respond to the PZN report indirectly. Reportedly, he saw the PZN report and spoke to his co-instructor Bambi. After taking off his Panama Jack hat off for a few moments and putting on his Captain PR hat, he decided to 'clarify' on a new blog post that he is merely "helping out" now. Ironically, his post is now titled "Come Learn Fine Art Nude & Boudoir Photography From Bambi Cantrell." It's okay, Photogzilla chuckled too.

As you can clearly see on the original advertisement for the workshop, both photographers are "joining forces" to teach the workshop. Per Mr. Bourne's own words in his damage control posting, if he is only an assistant, PZN suggests Mr. Bourne allow Ms. Cantrell to headline the workshop alone and remove his name entirely from future advertisements. We can't remember the last time an assistant was headlining a workshop, unless the person is one of the actual instructors that specializes in the subject matter. Mr. Bourne needs to make up his mind about what his role is, and more importantly, if he is even fit for the role he is advertising.

We don't want backpedaling. We just want Mr. Bourne and any other photographer out there to consider skills come before marketing. Throwing your name behind a workshop may guarantee to fill seats, however, you are merely using fluff marketing.

Photogzilla commented on this story, "I'm not afraid to admit. I would call myself an 'assistant' too just so I could watch all the beautiful women. But of course, I'm not implying Panama Scott has the same dirty motives as I would. I'm just crazy enough to make that honest admission."

Suggested reading for all photographers out there worried about getting caught with their pants down (available at Amazon):

Keep stalking Photogzilla on Twitter!

Wildlife Photographer Teaching $1500 Nude Workshop

PZN News - April 5, 2010 - Wildlife photographer Scott Bourne is planning to teach a nude photography workshop and has just confirmed he has only shot 3 nude sessions that he was actually commissioned for by clients. Mr. Bourne is now soliciting photographers to pay him $1500 to teach a two day workshop on the subject.

In his Twitter comment, Mr. Bourne replied to a user, who retweeted our question, when asked how many nude sessions he had been commissioned for, to which he replied, "not relevant IMO since I'm teaching light, posing & biz." We are stumped at this response. Last we checked, nude photography requires its own lighting, posing, and business techniques. We are thoroughly confused by this ironic statement by Mr. Bourne who will be charging $1500 to teach attendees how to pose nudes, light nudes, and the business side of nude photography, all the while he has only been paid to do this three times. Yes, again, we said three. Uno. Dos. Tre!

PZN has also discovered that Mr. Bourne had just recently a workshop as a student himself, given by a veteran of nude photography, Carlos Baez. Mr. Bourne attended Mr. Baez's workshop in November of 2009 during the Partnercon conference period. According to Mr. Bourne's own blog posting on November 9, 2009, he does not claim to have normal day to day experience with nude photography, "I am not a regular nude shooter, but I have probably shot three or four projects in the past."

Mr. Bourne's own inexperience on the subject of nude photography can be best put in his own words he noted while working with one of the models at Mr. Baez's workshop, while reminding us he is best known for capturing the members of the animal kingdom, "I realized that as a wildlife photographer, I was going to have to use my imagination to get a shot that counted."

Finally, we were happy to hear Mr. Bourne was humble enough to confirm again what we had assumed from the beginning, "I am not very experienced at this type of photography..."

We had all of the supporting facts, including those by Mr. Bourne's own admission, to arrive to an educated conclusion regarding this report. However, we at PZN are never convinced that easily even with ourselves. So we went to our in-house PZN supercomputer; the Rockstar Commodore 64. We entered in all of the data we had collected and after 24 hours of calculating, blinking lights, and high rotations of cooling fans, our dot matrix printer output one of only two possible results. With 4 feet of banner paper, the output read "FAIL."

PZN has recently uncovered other similar photography workshops being given by photographers who have not actually had any commissioned work experience or even enough personal project experience in the subject matter being taught. The most recent was the embarrassing fiasco that exposed Scarlett Lillian, along with Stephen Knuth, who was irresponsibly given a title of "2009 Photographer of the Year" by Showit.com even though Mr. Knuth had reportedly shot only one wedding in his entire career thus far and was only working at a Starbucks the previous year making fresh hot cappuccinos for coffee lovers. The damning news came when it was discovered this one wedding Mr. Knuth shot was for one of his own relatives. Mr. Knuth has been charging unsuspecting photographers to shoot with him at workshops hosted by him. He has recently removed the words "2009 Photographer of the Year" from one of his splash images on his blog just in the past couple of days, however we have received reports he is still touting this meritless title. He did remove the large title after PZN exposed his irresponsible & reckless attempts to mislead inexperienced photographers & defrauding clients of his true experience.

In regards to the nude workshop and his experience, PZN has attempted to reach Mr. Bourne for comment to this story multiple times but he has failed to respond. PZN suggests attendees interested in Mr. Bourne's nude workshop to determine if $1500 is worth paying to an instructor that lacks the experience in this particular field. Mr. Bourne, a wildlife photographer, is welcome to justify this high cost, which equal to one month's mortgage or rent for some photographers who are already struggling to make ends meet for their families. We at PZN don't want anyone to go to a workshop and not get your money's worth.

If you are interested in finding out more details about the nude photography workshop, please click here.

PZN would also like to share that our editor/author/your slave Photogzilla Rockstar is going to be taking a cooking class on the art of making nude toast. We have been told the instructor of the class has made nude toast 3 times in her entire life. We look forward to seeing the results, along with confirming if the instructor will be nude as well. Our editor has his fingers crossed.

Keep stalking Photogzilla on Twitter!

PZN Breaking News: The Lillians Found??

Wheeling, WV - March 24, 2030 - Twenty years after doing the wedding photography industry a huge favor by disappearing, sister and brother @scarlettlillian & @stephenknuth have turned up hiding in an isolated inbreeding valley located in the Southern Appalachia part of West Virginia. Back in 2010, a few short weeks after the couple was newly engaged, things came to light when Scarlett Lillian was giving one of her fraudulent workshops. One of the attendees asked what the term 'aperture' meant. Scarlett proudly nickered and neighed, then responded, "Oh, like, that's how much a lens costs." Stephen knowing Scarlett knew more about the Sham-Wow then photography, attempted to throw a Nerf football into Scarlett's mouth before she could answer. However, it arrived a split second too late. The damage had been done. Though the Nerf football had landed and fit comfortably in her mouth, all in attendance stared in horror & disbelief that such a novice person was even teaching a photographer's workshop. Scarlett quickly attempted to bribe the attendees with her engagement ring, but that failed as well. It turned out the ring Stephen bought to propose to his sister was a $100 cubic zirconia.

The news was first broken by PZN (PhotogZilla Network) within minutes. Days later, the infamous Hotshot Photographer's Pop Quiz was chartered to be given to all wedding photographers a week later. Hundreds were scheduled to be given the Pop Quiz, including @kennykim, who out of fear of being exposed of having no knowledge besides of Italian bread and had come to notoriety after winning the 2010 WPPI Guiness Book of World Records for the talent of being able to juggle the testicles of five grown men at the same time without them knowing it, was reportedly seen leaving on a flight to Korea disguised as a missionary. The Pop Quiz was given by veteran photographers @BambiCantrell, @jgarnerphoto & @david_beckstead, who themselves are now co-owners of the largest chain of family portrait studios "Matching Sweaters." (Speaking of Jim, Boda V24 was released yesterday with the all new built in collapsable photo booth; the Seattle Kiwi Green Mocha color has been discontinued).

The day of the Pop Quiz, after both Scarlett & Stephen could not get past the first question of naming the two largest manufacturers of cameras, they left their Shitsacs (aka @shootsac) behind at the test center and walked out, never to be seen again. Others who did complete the test, failed beyond the surprise of the WPPI members who were also present to witness. Failed Pop Quiz takers included hot-air talkers @danesanders & @_davidjay. WPPI was ashamed they had been duped for so long and fired their board for corruption & other charges of favortism (PZN is currently working this story). One notable test taker did surprise many though; @jeshderox managed to pass the Pop Quiz. Strangely though, only after filling out the answers in crayon & color pencils, he applied layers of transparency paper splattered with oil paint & carbon chalk smeared vignettes. Other Pop Quiz takers reported his eyes were blood shot during the entire period of what was supposed to be a 1 hour exam, which actually took Jesh 4 hours as he kept breaking into a guitar solo in between questions.

Fast forward to now, the year 2030. A few days ago, a young person walked into one of the "Matching Sweaters" chain studios located in Wheeling, WV for a portrait session. The above image was taken by one of the employees and forwarded to the PZN offices. We have confirmation from the employee at the studio who verified the ID, that the person pictured above is none other then the offspring of brother & sister couple Stephen & Scarlett Lillian. The offspring was identified as 'Stallion Lillian' per the driver's license, but no confirmation has been received whether it was a male or female as the person did not speak, but only neighed. The employee also confirmed the father of the strange looking creature was also present during the shoot to speak for the offspring and identified himself as Stephen Lillian. This is also proof supporting earlier reports that Stephen had indicated to close friends back in 2009 that he would take on Scarlett's last name in an attempt to gain more Twitter followers after his attempts had failed in securing a relationship with influential men, such as rapper Eminem, @_davidjay and @jessicaclaire, the creator of the now defunct @Shootsac (aka Shitsac). Some may remember reports of Jessica being arrested in the summer of 2010 for stealing neoprene beer can covers from Dollar Stores across California and using pillow case covers from Goodwill to assemble Shitsacs. Also, some may recall Shootsac finally declared bankruptcy following plummeting sales after consumers realized they could make their Shitsac bags with $3 worth of materials.

No further details are available at this time regarding any other Lillian herd sighting, however, a PZN news crew has been deployed to West Virginia, being safely driven by our veteran 20 year bus driver @thebecker (for those who remember, Becker was grounded by his mom to his basement and was never able to make any Pop Quiz test dates, yet u can still see him on www.theBretirementhome.com).

Stay tuned to PZN as new details develop. Share your news by following & DM'ing PZN.